Acquaintances, friends with benefits, no strings attached. Bit by bit, we've begun pushing the limits and blurring the lines of what our friendships and romantic connections are, and the growing theme is relationships without borders. Perhaps it's because the world is constantly pressing us to put a label on our relationships - after all, what is a relationship without definition? Look at social media outlets like Facebook demanding to know our relationship status - even if it's complicated - and a detailed history chronicling when and where you met, oh and don't forget to tag who introduced you. And if we aren't being virtually accosted over categorizing our friendships, we are subliminally probed by our parents, peers, and even the public on the romantic front. Especially if you're over a certain vintage, suddenly dating someone 6 months means it's time to shop rings.
But I'm not so convinced we are consciously rebelling against the social norms by not pooling our mates into a box. Its actually much more possible that we are keeping others at bay so we don't need to make a decision one way or another how we feel about this person whether its friendship or something more significant. Keeping others at an arms length can temporarily protect us but more importantly, it illuminates distrust. So I'm not so concerned with the titling of Best Friend, Boyfriend, or Wife, but the conditions of that label. When it comes to any type of relationship, it's all based on where you draw the line.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship no matter how limited or insignificant that relationship may be. But trust can only ever fully function when both parties agree to play by the same set of rules. You draw a line in the sand and vow never to cross it. Now, it doesn't mean you can't disagree on what falls into the black, white, and grey areas in life, it's just that you agree what is above or below the belt in the context of your relationship. So no, you don't need to share the same values per-say, but rather simply agree to the same values. Because when you set these parameters you define what's acceptable and what's considered inappropriate and you set the framework to define your relationship. You can feel liberated in the sense that you can now trust the other person because you are both following the same guidelines.
Next time someone in your life tries to give you the gears for being on the relationship fence, fear not so long as you and the opposing party have mutually consented to the same terms. So yes, it's entirely possible to just be polite and cordial with someone who rubs you the wrong way but swims in your social circle, as long as you both concede to doing so. You can have friends with whom you have long periods of not speaking and pick up where you left off with ease. Intimate relations can function without the regular slew of baggage as long as those finer details are ironed out beforehand. Your friendships can be casual or serious so long as it is agreed upon what the benefits are. Ultimately, you just need to know who to draw the line with and where to draw the line.
But I'm not so convinced we are consciously rebelling against the social norms by not pooling our mates into a box. Its actually much more possible that we are keeping others at bay so we don't need to make a decision one way or another how we feel about this person whether its friendship or something more significant. Keeping others at an arms length can temporarily protect us but more importantly, it illuminates distrust. So I'm not so concerned with the titling of Best Friend, Boyfriend, or Wife, but the conditions of that label. When it comes to any type of relationship, it's all based on where you draw the line.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship no matter how limited or insignificant that relationship may be. But trust can only ever fully function when both parties agree to play by the same set of rules. You draw a line in the sand and vow never to cross it. Now, it doesn't mean you can't disagree on what falls into the black, white, and grey areas in life, it's just that you agree what is above or below the belt in the context of your relationship. So no, you don't need to share the same values per-say, but rather simply agree to the same values. Because when you set these parameters you define what's acceptable and what's considered inappropriate and you set the framework to define your relationship. You can feel liberated in the sense that you can now trust the other person because you are both following the same guidelines.
Next time someone in your life tries to give you the gears for being on the relationship fence, fear not so long as you and the opposing party have mutually consented to the same terms. So yes, it's entirely possible to just be polite and cordial with someone who rubs you the wrong way but swims in your social circle, as long as you both concede to doing so. You can have friends with whom you have long periods of not speaking and pick up where you left off with ease. Intimate relations can function without the regular slew of baggage as long as those finer details are ironed out beforehand. Your friendships can be casual or serious so long as it is agreed upon what the benefits are. Ultimately, you just need to know who to draw the line with and where to draw the line.
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